Home versus here

My dearest friend always tells me every time I mention going home (returning to NZ) that I am going back there, that here (Melbourne) is home.

At the end of the week I am going home with DD.  We are visiting for about a week.  DS isn 't coming as getting permission is often difficult and expensive, as I have to use lawyers to do it.  It always makes me sad when I go home with out him.  I have only ever taken him for a visit home twice and will be working on that becoming more frequent this year.

It is always a bitter sweet trip, it goes too fast and I just adore spending time with everybody.  It also makes me realise all that I miss out on not being there, and that makes me sad.  Knowing that I have to come back here can at times hang like a grey cloud over the happiness of the trip.  Although I fight really hard not to let it.

There are always the post trip blues, the sudden drop from the joy of being so close to everybody that I love and I want to be near.  To being back in this windy shitty city.  Not able to just go pop around and visit some babies.

I am lucky that we have things like the internet; skype, facebook and my blog even.  It does help me feel like I am not to far away. 

I don't want this to come across as a woe is me post; I am excited.  And it will be awesome and I will relish every minute I spend with everybody.  I will spend sometime visiting my favourite places like Healesville, which has the best bakery in the world.  And to get there you have to drive past the wineries and if you are early enough you will see the hot air balloons taking off.

 I will eat too much and if my mum and sister have their way I will also drink to much.  Or sit back and watch them drink too much, either way it will be fun!  Watching the kids play together, sometimes happily, sometimes not.  And nothing beats a home cooked meal from your parents.

I can't wait to see my nieces who grow bigger every time I see them and are the most beautiful girls in the world, and I can't wait to get back for good so I can watch them grow up.

I will spend time with my most favourite and closest of friends and her family ... I love these guys till my heart bursts.  Both her and her husband have been an unconditional source of love and support for me.  Her saying all the swear words I bottle up inside while we drink very vanilla chillers at the shopping centre and he makes things feel better with an extra large meat lovers pizza with BBQ sauce washed down with liters of Pepsi, followed by chocolate chip cookie chasers ( xxx) .  She gets me,  we think the same and it's not often that you get to have somebody in your life that thinks the same as you.  It makes conversations easier (and extremely funny) and when she gives me advice I take it, because I know she knows.


I love the gum trees and the sounds of the birds in the morning.  I love that there is no wind!  I love the local shopping centre with coffee and donuts.  I love the smell of my dad's garage and the crunchy freshness of a bed made by my mum. I love walking outside in the morning in bare feet and even though the sun isn't fully up yet the ground is warm (in summer that is).  I love Target.  I love driving through the main street of the town I grew up in, even though it gets a bad rap every now and then.  I can't wait to get home.