- DS - Dear Son, my son
- DD - Dear Daughter, my daughter
- FIL - Father in Law
- SIL - Son in Law
I got a call today from DS Great Grandmother. Poor lady is in the midst of being harassed by this family, her blood. The vultures.
She rang to see if the children and I had received our Christmas presents, I told her no we hadn't. She was upset as she had sent them to my FIL to pass on. When she originally rang him for my address he refused to give it to her. He told her that he was not going to be the middle man, even though that is exactly what he did in regards to the passport arrangements at the end of last year.
I know I have mentioned the passport but don't think I have gone into any details and to lazy to read back through my posts to check, so here is the story.
I wanted to take DS home around Christmas last year. This was his second trip home with me as he makes it so difficult for me to organise trips with DS.
Here in New Zealand a passport application only needs one parent to sign, however the terms and conditions say when you sign that the other parent/guardian knows that you are submitting the passport application.
Well he submitted the application and never told me. When I rang the passport office about this they said that they had never been contacted before from the other parent saying they had never been told.
As far as he was concerned this then put him in charge of the passport and whether DS ever got to come home to visit the rest of his family.
After the first trip home I reluctantly returned gave the passport back to him, as I said I would and at the stage for what ever silly reason when it came t o him I was still trying to do right by him. When it came for the second trip I followed the protocol set out in mediation which was an email to him and DS lawyer, setting out departure and return dates. It was later in the evening that FIL rang me, calling on behalf of DS father. I was given a long list of conditions to meet before they would agree for me to take DS home to see his grand parents, aunty, cousins and my friends. As much as the conditions made my blood boil all I wanted was the passport so I could make the trip. I signed a piece of paper for them agreeing to the conditions but wasn't given the passport straight away. I had to wait until they were ready to hand it over.
Part of the agreement was that I would hand the passport back to FIL on my return, however in the agreement that they typed up they got the date wrong by a month. When FIL rang me to organise to pick up the passport I told him that as per the agreement I wasn't required to hand it back for another month. He wasn't happy. The next three days were constant phone calls on my mobile and home phone from him and his father. FIL kept coming around to the house knocking on the door which I ignored. By the end of day one I had the curtains closed and the phones on silent. I did pick up once or twice to be told that I was being sneaky and underhanded and that there would be legal consequences to me not giving them back the passport, even though the passport was gained illegally in the first place. I was told that I was not DS guardian and did not have a right to keep the passport. I spent three days to scared to pick up the phone or step outside my house.
Just I was ready to go to the police to see how I could stop the harassment they gave up. But I knew that they would start again when the date on the agreement rolled around.
And I was right, by 10am a month later, as per the date on the agreement they both started calling again. There was no talking reasonably to them. Anytime I tried to explain my thoughts and feelings they would hang up only to call back ten minutes later demanding I hand over the passport again.
The first thing I did that Monday was handed DS passport to his lawyer. What you would think was a reasonable solution. Not as far as those two are concerned, father and son obsessed by being in control always and in particular when it comes to women.
This passport saga continues with DS father accusing myself and DS lawyer of breaching a court order in relation to the passport. I have re-read that court order and it does not mention the passport ever. I feel like a gained a little power back on this one and that what I did by handing it over to the lawyer was the right thing to do.
So back to DS Great Grandmother, long story short she has made some plans in life that my FIL her SIL does not agree with and he is harassing her by phone and mail, threatening legal action on an 80 year old woman. It really does show that they are both cowards this father and son team, vultures!
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